Single Mother

It’s the day before Mothers’ Day. While in the carpark of a supermarket with a list of items to acquire and a reusable shopping bag, I bump into one of my former university colleagues. He was always an old soul trapped in a young man’s body. A great mind to hash out contemporary topics between our history lectures at university. During our impromptu conversation, I asked after his family. He said that his sister always said that she admired my teaching style for history. I smiled and noted that she was one of my best students as well.

After we said our goodbyes, we went into the supermarket our separate ways. Then I resumed the Saturday morning hustle of a single mother. The first boy had archery lessons… yes in 2018 we’re still shooting arrows. Who would have thought it? Last week I had beginners’ luck when the instructor during my son’s session invited me to try it out. This week he wanted to see if it could happen again. The complete opposite happened. I was thinking too much about everything: how to get the target again, what I had to do after the lessons and how was I going to get through everything.

As soon as my son’s session was over the instructor called me aside. He said that he hoped that he wasn’t being out of place but he really admired the way I handled myself as a mom and a teacher. After thanking him for the compliment, I asked him why he thought that it  was out of place. His response was that others may think that it is crossing the line when making those comments on a person’s character.

Twice in one day! Upon reflection of these comments from my former university colleague and my son’s archery instructor, I came to this conclusion. Single motherhood is a lot of work and it takes a lot from you. However, the rewards from it are sweet. It’s true that I get twice the love and the looks of respect from others. But here’s a twist and you probably were not expecting it but I’m really not single at all.

Everyone’s perspective on this is different. I may appear to be single as I have no spouse However, my support systems really don’t make me feel single. Many times I joke about the committee which goes into helping my family run. Before making any decisions, I have to confer with the committee. The committee is made up of everyone who is a part of this single mom journey: my mother, my family and the institutions of the school and the church. My mother is mentioned first because she really supports my dreams as a good mother should. I hope that I can be half the mother to my children as she is to me. Then my family related by blood and spirit help me so much in raising these children with which God has blessed my life. With them by my side, these children want for nothing. Their physical and emotional needs are met. Finally the institutions of the church and school, which work together to mould our professional and spiritual development.

So don’t stop praising single mothers. They need to hear the praise through all of the strength and difficulties. It feels sweet and makes it worth it. Single mothers wake up before everyone else in the family and takes care of the household. Single mothers make it work in terms of taking care of others. Single mothers believe in a power higher than themselves to help them get through. For with that power, they are not single. That power flows through the institutions of the family, school and church. That power that makes it possible for single mothers is the help that comes from the Divine.

And every blessing that has been given to me whether I can see it or I can feel it… I give it back to God. For everything I am… You helped me to be.


Too Strong For Too Long

Humility is not thinking less of yourself but of yourself less. I would rather be humble than to be humbled by someone or some experience. There are some admirable things which I have done. That is the truth. In fact in life, everyone has done admirable things at one point or another. Then I realise that there is always room for improvement as this statement provides the inspiration for doing more admirable things in life, for the honour and glory of God.

tree green fresh in female hand

Make a personal development plan that will ensure that you can bring more accomplishments in life. Yet what is life with all of the accomplishments? Is it worth more? What do you do when the goals are attained? Now what? There is a plethora of information on Personal Development. That can prove daunting for some who do not have a clue on how they can start. The following are three easy steps to employ while formulating a plan. First, create a list where you write down everything you could be doing with your life, that would make a positive impact. Second motivate yourself by writing your own personal vision and mission statements so that you can create an action plan to achieve your personal goals. Finally, work at your goals and stick to them. Avoid procrastination.

So once you have created the personal development plan, constantly review your goals and ensure that they are SMART. This acronym stands for:

Specify the attainment targets. Be sure about what it is you want to achieve. Measure your goal and ensure that it can be attained. Remember that they need to be relevant to your lifestyle. They should not only benefit yourself but those who live and work with you. Finally the goals must be time-bound for they remain a plan. A goal is a plan written down. Where do you tap into that strength  that you need? Inside of you. The strength to survive is placed from your conception. Find that strength from the One who has, is and will be the strongest.




Hope can be dangerous.

In difficult circumstances, hope can be used to keep the heart and soul in check. Hope can materialise from the mind into a tangible and inspirational substance. Hope is eternal. It cannot be seen with the human eye, but it can be  felt with the human heart and soul.

Yesterday I ministered with a Sister in Christ and she blessed my heart in all ways. We shared our experiences and by doing this we helped each other immensely. This is the will of God. By sharing with each other as Christians we are obeying God’s commands. Obedience reaps rewards and as Christians we believe that our rewards are eternal in God’s kingdom in heaven. According to Psalm 103, we bless the Lord and worship and adore Him for He is at the centre of it all. We try our human best to imitate God: to be slow to anger and to be full of compassion. We have hope because with God our sins have be thrown away as far as the east is from the west.

We have friends who can share our burdens as well as we can shoulder theirs. Yet the greatest friend we have is in Jesus, who always keeps his promises. One such promise is that when we are weary we can depend on Him. He will provide a place of refuge where we can rest and become renewed and refreshed. That’s the best part. God is always with us. When we call out for help and say, “Lord, help me.”, He puts his arm out and strengthens us. That’s the dangerous element about hope. For through hope we are strong.

We place our hopes on our children. We hope that they will be steadfast and strong and rooted in God’s love. We hope that they will grow up to maturity and independence but not before they enjoy their childhood which is reflected in the hope in their eyes.


It stands in contrast to the floral tropical beauty

Its dilapidated state a testimony of reminiscence

Birds of paradise, pink ginger lilies and white anthuriums

Line the L-shaped pathway leading towards the antiquated dwelling

The fruit of mango and breadfruit trees

Hang precariously even dangerously

Over the missing sheet of the galvanized roofing

Looking from a mortal perspective

Imagining what this dwelling place would have

Looked like in days gone by, in its former glory

A combination of beautifully painted wood with

Sturdy concrete supporting the structure

Shiny galvanized roof covering strong wooden beams and rafters

Wooden jalousie windows with complimentary sash windows

White washed front steps and well tended plants and shrubbery.

Looking from an immortal and invisible perspective

There is a solitary being, living in this dilapidated structure

She is safe and secure in a familiar setting

Familiar persons visit with their mortal intentions

To help but she wants nothing to change

Yet everything is changing

Unfamiliar persons use her tropical gardens as a public thoroughfare

To walk from the main road to their respective residences

She retreats in her familiar abode

Safe in her belief that God has protected her thus far

But where is the balance between familiar and unfamiliar?

Where is the balance between reminiscence and reality?

How long do you hold on?

When do you let go?

(The next two weeks are dedicated to inspirational poetry. These poems evoke feelings from within. I hope this one inspires you as well to live in reality and let go.)

every day 2

Seduction by inadequacy

Lupita Nyong’o recently won an Oscar for best supporting actress for her role as Patsy in the movie 12 Years A Slave. She is a highly acclaimed actor and director who has redefined the concept of outer beauty and exemplifies her inner beauty through her words. In her epic speech at Essence’s 7th Annual Black Women in Hollywood event, she said the words, “seduction by inadequacy” and the whole room audibly gasped.

lupita oscars dress

Why did they gasp? Everyone in the room identified with this feeling at some point in their lives. It resonated with them, and by extension viewers worldwide. They all could relate to it.

Inadequacy disguises itself as the world’s expectations. Inadequacy stems from physical, moral and societal standards. Issues relating to complexion, hair colour, weight gain or weight loss are prevalent in everyone’s lives. How do I look? Am I fat in this outfit? The camera puts on ten pounds. Skinny vs. fat. This feeling of inadequacy transcends gender and sexuality.

Inadequacy also revolves around religion and faith. How does one proclaim to be one way and act the other? Many suffer from hypocrisy. Inadequacy develops from societal expectations and standards. People are so caught up with the tangible: car, house and job. They forget or misplace the importance of the intangible, relationships with family, friends and the Divine. Inadequacy felt in faith and religion and affects the balance of life.

The crux of the matter lies in the way to combat this seduction by inadequacy. It does not happen overnight. It is a gradual process: step by step, little by little. It can take days, weeks, months and even years to have the ability to deduce the inadequacy in life and reduce the occurrence of seduction. Inadequacy beckons, flirts and titillates. Live against life’s norms for a while. When society thinks that it is strange and eccentric, that is a sign that inadequacy is no longer tolerated and adequacy has taken its place.

every day 2

Lupita urged her listeners to get on with the business of inner beauty. Get on with the business of being seduced by adequacy. Eliminate negativity and don’t be afraid to fly.


Purpose Driven Life


Life is crazy…

Sometimes it feels as if there is a balance between success and failure. There is a concept called the “Empty Success Syndrome”. All it means is that one has the trappings of what it means to be successful by society’s standards yet at the same time that person does not have a sense of fulfillment. They ask themselves, “Now what?”

This photo gives off the impression of education. The words are written in chalk on the blackboard.There are so many elements one could analyse, but only three will be examined in this blog. People yearn for the life without stress and worries. However stressful and worrying situations are without a doubt a part of life. Life educates by using these situations to make the individual better and stronger. The way in which the individual reacts towards life’s situations, makes it worrisome and stressful. Power lies within.

If you were to ask most people what they want out of life, chances are at least one person would say, “I want to be rich and famous.” They equate being rich and famous with being happy. Yet many rich and famous persons are harassed constantly by the tabloids or stalked by some maniac- obsessive- psycho, so happiness may not be on the list of emotions that they experience. In the movie the Pursuit of Happyness, Will Smith’s character is trying to make it big with the outcome of having zero financial problems. However on a closer look at the movie, the real happiness is the bonding between a character father and son and actually between Will Smith and his son Jaden. Happiness is found in the simple things in life.

After the last word “happy” is three dots. In Spanish they are called “puntos de suspension”. They give the impression, “Now what?” After happiness, what direction does life take? How priorities be balanced? When will fulfillment occur? That’s what life is all about: a cycle of successes and failures to gain an appreciation of the journey and the end result.