It is humanly impossible to move mountains. Yet with faith, those mountains can move. The mountain causes discomfort and pain at times but through those feelings, growth occurs. My challenge is like a mountain. It looms ahead of me: majestic, unfathomable and larger than life. But I have a tool. This is the tool of determination. Courage is not in the roar of a lion. Courage is simply having the strength to get up again after being knocked over time and time again. So here’s my challenge and I’m not afraid to speak out against it. I was at first, because I was afraid of being made fun of by people. I was afraid that someone will laugh and think that my challenge is invalid.
I have been made fun of all of my life and my greatest fear is that people will laugh at me. When I was a little girl, on my way home from school, two boys would taunt me. They insulted my glasses, my hair and the fact that I was a year younger than everyone in the class. That stopped as soon as I told my father about it and he took it up with the boys’ parents and the school teachers.
When I was a teenager, I was teased about my social upbringing in the church. Some called me a “goody two shoes”. I was also teased about the colour of my skin. If only my skin could have been a lighter tone. The tactics I employed in this case, was not to tell my father like before. I ignored the teasing and I associated with a clique to ensure that I would never be alone on the outside. But that was a façade, for I was lonely on the inside, fighting a battle of self-image and self-esteem. Soon after that my tormentors found someone else to make fun of and I was off the hook. Little did I know that they too were fighting a battle of self respect as it was a challenge for them to respect others.
When I became a teacher, I thought that in my adult stage, people would stop making fun of me. But I was mistaken. My knowledge and resources were taken advantage of by those whom I taught and by those who taught with me. I was at a crossroads. What do I do? There is no father to turn to who would speak on my behalf. If I ignore that gives their actions validation and I am way too old for cliques. The answer was simple. The answer was something that I did as a little girl. The answer is to speak out but in the adult forum: through creating social awareness of my challenge. The answer was to treat others like you wanted to be treated: with respect. So I called them aside and had an assertive conversation with them and got to the root and the route of the problem. Consequently we became stronger from these experiences of discomfort.
But there is one thing that I’ve learnt so far in this life. Fear does not get you anywhere. If you distract yourself by other people’s expectations, you would not have time to focus on your own. This is how I’m dealing with my challenge. First, I am doing qualitative and quantitative research. I am asking other persons if they have this challenge as well. I am reading articles on this challenge and observing what other persons have done in their situations. I am not alone in this. For by viewing what others have done in their situations, I am able to adapt their solutions and fit them to my own circumstances. Then I will quantify the problem by compiling tangible research: facts, percentages and surveys. By doing this, the challenge will become more visible to myself and others. To know is to have a direct connection to omnipotence.
Therefore with the combination of research and observation, solutions to my challenge will be implemented. The mountain can move or be immovable. The most important factor is that I have changed as a person. That this experience will continue to strengthen my capacity for understanding self and others around me. That this experience will edify the spiritual journey, which we call life.
So let’s face it, I will be made fun of because everything that they ridicule is what makes me who I am. It’s what sets me apart from the rest. It defines my identity. It makes me unique. God does not make mistakes. He makes miracles. So I’m not afraid of others making fun or laughing at me, for I’m strong enough to laugh with them and wise enough identify the fear and seek the faith that can move the mountains in my life.